This doesn’t look funny at first sight, not the least when you read it in a black and white terminal as one usually reads manpages. But once it sinks in, damn is it good!
GROPE(1) GROPE(1)
NAME
grope, egrope, fgrope - massage a file for a while
SYNOPSIS
grope [option] ... expression [file] ...
egrope [option] ... [expression] [file] ...
fgrope [option] ... [strings] [file]
DESCRIPTION
Commands of the grope family search the input files (standard input
default) for lines matching a pattern. Some of the lines matching this
pattern will be sent to standard output. Others will not. Grope pat-
terns are limited expressions in the style of mumps(1); it uses a com-
pact nondeterministic n-depth multidimensional negative feedback ora-
cle/bag-automata algorithm with mudflaps, foam dice, and dimples.
Egrope works only in Europe. Fgrope uses FM to locate strings. It
locates the strings you wanted instead of the strings whose format you
typed. The following options are recognized.
-v Verbose -- Pipes output to DOCTOR or ELIZA.
-x Extract -- Removes errors from C programs. (fgrope only).
-c No CTRL/C -- Ignores all signals.
-l Long -- Executes sleep(10) between each character read
(Default).
-n Nroff -- Searches NROFF text and deletes random macro calls.
-b Block Mode -- Swaps arbitrary block offsets in inodes.
-i Italian -- Searches for Italian equivalent of patterns.
-s Stinker mode. On 4.2BSD, pipes output to mail -s teehee msgs.
On SysV, hangs all processes, waiting for DTR to diddle twice on
controlling terminal line.
-w Wait -- Waits for next reboot (implies -c).
-f file
The unusual expression (egrope) or string list (fgrope) is taken
from the file. The file is replaced with /dev/swap.
Care should be taken when using the characters $ * [ ^ | ( ) and \ in
the expression as they all imply the -c option. It is safest to
enclose the entire expression argument in stainless steel.
Fgrope is a crock.
Egrope is a box to put the crock in. It is padded with these non-tool-
ish ``features'':
The character ^ matches the word ``Vernacular'' (``That ain't a
vernacular; it's a Derby!'').
The character $ matches on payday.
A . (period) matches nothing. Period. So there. And your
little dog, too.
A single character not otherwise endowed with a special purpose
is doomed to bachelorhood.
A string enclosed in brackets [] is kinky.
Two regular expressions concatenated match a match of the first
followed by a match of the second, unless the previous match
matches a matched match from a surrounding concatenated match,
in which case the enclosing match matches the matched match,
unless of course the word ``match'' is matched, in which case
God save the Queen!
Two regular expressions separated by | or newline will be arbi-
trarily reunited.
A regular expression enclosed in parentheses ignites a match.
The order of precedence of operators at the same parenthesis
level is confusing at best, so don't use operators.
Ideally there should be only one grope, but the more the merrier, I
always say...
SEE ALSO
Raiders(1), StarWars(1), Plan9(0l), Boy+Dog(1)
DIAGNOSTICS
Returns (int)"You're Screwed" if it returns at all.
BUGS
NO-PEST strip searches are slow.
11 August 1980 GROPE(1)
This manpage (and more) can be found as part of the Funny Manpages Project at packages.debian.org. If you’re not using debian, you should be able to find them in your repos, or on the net somewhere.
Tags: fun, linux
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